Примеры эссе IELTS

Тема в разделе "IELTS", создана пользователем Жизнь, 8 окт 2017.

  1. Жизнь

    Жизнь Администратор Команда форума

    МС, МП, СС, Земля
    № Визы:
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    6 points:

    1. Students from rural areas often find it difficult to access university education. Some people think that it should become easier for them to study at universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

      Nowadays, it is acknowledged that students from suburban areas find it tough to receive higher education. Whether it should be made easier for them to access university education becomes an ongoing concern, which incurs a highly-charged debate.

      Obviously, higher education opportunities bring about benefits to students in multiple ways. For example, to receive higher education becomes increasingly important to senior high school graduates, partly becasue it determines if they have the competitive edge in the job market, and partly because it is seen as a guarantee of a certain level of the mental ability, from the computer literacy that is required by the most employers to the capacities of acquiring new knowledge the soonest possible which is valued by the most workplaces. With a university degree, students from rural areas will obtain a job easily, thereby bettering their living conditions and their family as well.

      Higher education also, however, tend to impose a heavy burden on their families since the relenting rise in the tuition fees which are -increasingly beyond those families’ ability to afford. In addition, with the mounting evidence, a university degree is not always a guarantee of seizing a decent job; therefore, their living conditions are likely to worse off by not able to earn back their tuition fee after graduation. In this way, some people argue, students from rural areas are not well-advised to pursue a university degree. But I perceive their desire to further their education should not be disrespected and the government should subsidise them to receive higher education.

      In conclusion, university education should be made fair to everyone, predicated only on their academic performance and mental abilities, rather than their financial capacities and the government should subsidise those students in need.

      Teacher’s comment: Not all the parts of the task were covered. The writer’s position is relevant to task prompt, the main ideas are also relevant but not all of them are developed well enough. The information is presented coherently, it is evident that the writer progresses from one idea to another.
      The linking words and phrases are used in a correct way. The range of vocabulary is sufficient here. There are some attempts to use more sophisticated words but many of them are inaccurate. Even though there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they don’t make the meaning much harder to understand. Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 6.

    2. Full time university students spend most of the time studying. They should be doing other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

      Full time study in university is a great experience in life but in parallel to that students become inactive in other activities such as working for their pocket money, sports, participating in debates and socialization. People differ in their opinion if students must engagedin other things or stay concentrated on their studies only. The discussion will be presented below, followed by my opinion.

      Some people say that mere studying does not product an overallyouth for a country. This way, students only earn theoretical knowledge -- not practical. For instance, students can be intelligent during their studies but at the same time when they come in the market to work n, they fail and cannot develop their confidence and work as brilliantly as they were in university. Hence, the best approach for them need to be engaged here and there for practical experience.

      On the other hand, others believe that building a better career is the foremost thing in today’s world. So, they are targeted to their studies and gain as much knowledge as they can. Furthermore, if they are diverted from their studies, they will not be able to make their target.

      In my point of view, there must be blending of full time education and extra activities. It refreshes students’ minds and provides more energy to concentrate on it. Moreover, by this way, they will learn how to be mingled with other people in the society.

      To summarize, it can be said that it is important to concentrate on study but on the other hand there must be something to keep themactive and relaxed being involved in games, music, work and other extra activities.

      The writer’s position is relevant to task prompt, although the conclusions are somewhat repetitive. The main ideas are relevant but not all of them are developed well enough. The linking words and phrases are used, however at times they are either repetitive or seem forced (not natural). It is not always clear what the writer refers to in the essay. There are some attempts to use more sophisticated words but they are mostly inaccurate. The writer’s occasional word-formation and grammar errors detract from the good impression, but overall the response is still easy enough to understand. Overall seems to be worthy of Band 6.
    3. Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, however think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

      Nowadays, people are arguing whether an ideal lifestyle should be a stable one or should it include a wide ranges of changes.
      In my opinion, whether changes are needed -- should be determined -- the stages of lives you are at.

      Apparently, alternations in life are favorable to the development of young people, in regards to their careers. Primarily, an abundant experience in varieties of jobs enables the young to master a broad range of techniques and skills, leading to -- significant edge over thecounterparts in the competition for employment. Meanwhile, trying various roles in life and work provides -- wide selections of lifestyles for the young in the future. Only after this comparison can they realize what the real goals of their lives should be striven for.

      However, other than frequent changes, the elderly who have undergone all these challenges may pursue a steady lifestyle. For the elders, concentration on their favorite activities would give rise to a sense of enjoyment and security, which is helpful to physical and psychological health. Due to a stable life, the elderly are less exposed to stress, leading to a decrease in adrenal hormones and resulting in their well-beings.

      Furthermore, degeneration of mental and physical function would make the elderly unlikely to adapt to external changes, causing frustrations and depressions, which are not contributing to their health.

      Above all, it is unlikely to describe the changes in life with a positive or negative term. Accommodation for personal needs and goals is more important than the changes themselves.

      All the parts of the task were covered, although some were covered better than others. The main ideas are relevant but not all of them are developed well enough. The information is presented coherently, it is evident that the writer progresses from one idea to another. The linking words and phrases are used, however at times they are incorrect, repetitive or seem forced (not natural). Paragraphing needs to be done more logically. The writer’s occasional word-formation errors detract from the good impression, but overall the response is still easy enough to understand. Even though there are some errors in grammar and punctuation, they don’t make the meaning much harder to understand. Overall, this essay seems to be worthy of Band 6 – 6.5.

    7 points:

    1. Some people think that students who don’t take a break in studies between the high school and the university are at disadvantage compared to students who travel and work after high school before further continuing their education. Do you agree or disagree?

      Nowadays, in our competitive world, to succeed, knowledge from school and university is not enough. Therefore, students who study from the school to university get fewer benefits and contribute less too, compared to those student who travel or work and get experience and skills before going high. There are two following reasons to support for my opinion. I refer to the group of people who study from school to university as ‘group A’ and the other group – as ‘group B’.

      Firstly, at school and university, what group A gains is almost entirely theory, theory and theory. Of course, theory is very neccessary, however, you can’t do everything with just theory. You must have praticeable experience. This is what group A lack very much. Although in the third or fourth year at university, group A can be apprentices in some companies, to help them approach their future jobs, they aren’t trained well because of the short time spent working. And the real job is still very strange to them. After graduating, without experience, group A students can’t accomplish their work perfectly. On the other hand, it takes them time and money to keep up with other experienced students and they may be scorned. Therefore, group A students can contribute less than group B who have the two most important things: skills and experience.

      Secondly, as group A students are contributing less, they surely get less benefit. Moreover, many companies which employ people in group A have to train them from ground-up. These companies take this cost from group A’s salary to reduce the risk of their employees leaving to other companies after being trained. So, less benefits are unavoidable and certain, Whereas group B members are more loyal and effective workers. They also have useful experience and skills. Besides, their education is the same as or even higher than that of group A. As the result, group B gets more benefits absolutely.

      In conclusion, I think a student should travel or work before going to the university. That way, not only will they have basic knowledge but also skills and experience which are useful for them to get a good job and have a brilliant future.

      This essay is too long (350 words instead of 250). To fight this problem, try to write in a more general form and provide fewer details. The use of language and ideas are good and so is the essay structure. Seems worthy of Band 7.

    2. We are becoming increasingly dependent on computers. They are used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What things will they be used for in future? Is this dependence on computers a good thing or should we be more suspicious of their benefits?

      Today computers are used almost everywhere, it is impossible to imagine our life without PCs, Internet, mobile phones and other computer devices. It is reasonable to think that people look forward to the future of computers. In what field will be computers used for and what role will human has in this world in future?

      Besides, computers make our life easier, we can easily get information about any product we plan to buy or place we plan to visit in a second using a personal computer and Internet. Scientists predict that in the nearest future it will be possible to smell a new perfume using the Internet and watch 3D scenes at home like we do in the movie theater. According to forecasts of HR agencies machines will replace jobs of cashiers, and civil and military pilots. Some corporations in Japan are already selling
      housewife-robots, which help old people to keep their homes clean.

      Despite the fact that computers help us, they make us dependent. Apparently, people spend more time behind monitors than ever before. And some of them feel a need for more time to be spent with people in live contact. In addition, a breakdown of one of the important modules of a specific computer can entail serious consequences. Suffice to mention the computer problem that occurred in the end of 1990s, a problem related to the coming year 2000 (Y2K) and catastrophes that were predicted. Fortunately imminent disasters did not happen. However, it is difficult to imagine what could be if all the predictions came true.

      We live in a technological era, computers penetrated everywhere with all benefits they provide and all dangers they hide. However we are satisfied with them and sometimes we even thank them because they help us in communicating, studying, doing business, entertaining and saving lives in critical situations.

      Great essay, all the task points are covered, good language and structure. It would probably receive a Band 7.
    3. In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion?

      Nowadays, many children involved in different types of jobs to have some kind of financial assurance for themselves. However, whether this is good for their development and personality is a controversial issue. I personally believe that paid works is harmful for children for several reasons.

      It is said that children gain valuable experience in the work place. This may be true. However, I would argue that children are mainly employed in jobs that require manual work and are poorly paid. The recent statistics reveal the common tasks that children are assigned to are washing dishes, mopping floors or serving food in restaurants. Meanwhile, this kind of jobs actually do not provide children with necessary and useful skills to apply in their future carrer.

      This brings me to the second point. Defenders of child labour arguesthat it is an effective method of learning. The point is children should be able to apply knowledge taught to them in a real life working environment. Although this is undoubtedly true, it also means that children may neglect the classroom study and even fail the class. The worst thing is yet to come. They may become so preoccupied with the benefits ahead of them such as small salary that they may leave school.

      Finally, supporters say that it helps them to build responsibility in the family. They will understand how it is difficult to earn money and therefore have compassion for their parents. This is true to a certain extent, but may have a totally adverse effect on children. As children can make money at an early age, they would feel that it is appropriate to spend it on luxury things.

      In conclusion, I think that parents should take measures to restrict their child from work, otherwise it would have negative consequences to their future.

      This is a great essay, a Band 7+ candidate. My only suggestion is to divide your arguments so that you would have 2 paragraphs covering arguments ‘against’ and one covering arguments ‘for’ or vise versa. Don’t mix arguments ‘for’ and ‘against’ in one paragraph.

    8 points:

    1. When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

      Nowadays, technological advances and their rapid and wide applications are having a significant impact on a nation’s traditional skills and ways of life. Some argue that such impact is so extraordinary that it would make conventional skills and life stylesobsolete. However, I believe they would continue to thrive by providing alternatives to modern ways of life, and innovative ideas for modern technologies.

      First of all, traditional skills and ways of life are becoming an alternative solution to the problems caused by “mainstreamed” ways of life which are greatly influenced by modern technologies. For instance, a cozy restaurant where traditional, home-brewed beer is served, offers another experience to people who are bored with branded beers that have the same flavor and come out of mass production with new technologies. It is in such a venue where traditional skills are preserved, people become relaxed and educated. Providing diversity and thus enriching modern ways of life, such traditional skills and ways of life would continue to have their place.

      Furthermore, conventional skills provide innovative ideas to the development of modern technologies. For example, sparkled by how the word “Love” is traditionally knitted into a sweater by some ethnic minority women in some parts of Asia, some business managers from textile industry have developed some production lines by applying the traditional skills to Computer-Aided Designs (CAD). The products have boosted the companies’ sales which in turn have increased their investment in preserving traditional skills for further developing their technologies.

      To conclude, traditional skills and life styles are increasingly becoming a useful alternative to the homogeneity brought by global applications of modern technologies. However, the evolution of technologies is a selection process, whereby some would become obsolete, but there is no doubt that some would thrive when their roles are appreciated.

      This is a good essay. The requirements of the task statement are covered, the arguments make sense and are presented in a coherent, easy to follow way, the range of vocabulary is wide enough and the writer shows fluency and flexibility. There are only a few errors (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows suggested corrections). Overall this looks like an IELTS Band 8 essay.

    2. Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

      It is true that some criminals commit crimes again after they have been punished. While there are several reasons for this alarming trend, some effective measures can be taken by governments to tackle this problem.

      There are two main reasons for re-offenders. Firstly, the prison system can make the situation worse. Criminals put together in prison and they make friends with other offenders. While they are locked up in prison, they do not have much to do there, and they would exchange information about what they have done before they came to the prison or they may plan crimes with other inmates. Secondly, offenders often do not have any other means of earning money. They are poor, uneducated and lacking skills needed to maintain a job. Also, a criminal record makes finding a job difficult as people usually avoid hiring ex-convict.

      To solve this problem, governments should focus on rehabilitation of criminals rather than punishment. Above all, prisons need vocational training which makes inmates to prepare for life outside the prison. They can learn practical skills such as computer programming, car maintenance and graphic design. In this way, they can be hired for a position that requires this certain knowledge and skills. Community service is another way to reform offenders. Rather than being locked up in prison with other inmates, offenders can help society and become useful to their local community, and these activities would eliminate the negative influence that prisons can have.

      In conclusion, it is true the re-offenders are one of the problems inour community; it can be solved by focusing rehabilitation rather than punishment itself.

      This is a good essay. The requirements of the task statement are covered, the reasoning is logical and presented in a coherent, easy to follow way, the range of vocabulary is wide enough and the writer shows fluency and flexibility. Some minor errors in this essay include word choice and preposition errors (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows suggested corrections). Overall this looks like an IELTS Band 8 essay.
    3. Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities, while others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

      Some people contend that mixed ability classes are more beneficial for children’s development than streaming them on the basis of judgement about their academic abilities. However, from my perspective, I disagree with this contention.

      Admittedly, mixed ability classes provide a better environment for children’s all-round development. In such classes, children with different abilities study together and in turn they can learn from one another. From example, a student, who is good at academic study but weak in dancing or painting, can learn how to dance or paint formhis peers. In this sense, mixed ability classes allow students to develop their abilities in different subjects instead of only academic abilities.

      Despite the argument above, I believe streaming students brings more benefits to teachers and students. As for teachers, separating children with better academic abilities from others facilitates effective teaching. This practice helps teachers to control their students more conveniently and easily. Compared with mixed ability in which teacher should consider students’ differences when they are using teaching methodologies, streaming makes this situation simpler. To be more specific, students are at the same level of academic ability in a class, and in turn teachers can use the same methodologies for them all. In this way, the narrower the spread of ability in the class, the more convenient the teaching can be.

      On top of this, steaming enables students to learn in an effective way. According to students’ different abilities, they are taught in different ways that are more suitable for them. In the top streams, students use more difficult materials, therefore, they can learn more. In sharp contrast, teachers can explain the material more slowly to those in bottom streams. Under this circumstance, students with different academic abilities can study effectively and efficiently.

      In the final analysis, mixed ability classes are beneficial for students’ versatile development, but in my opinion, segregating students based on different academic ability is better for both teachers and students.

      The writer presented a balanced discussion of the topic, effortlessly delivered in a form of a fluent, well-written IELTS essay. The arguments and reasoning are laid out in a coherent, logical way. A wide range of vocabulary is used in this work. There are very few spelling errors that could have been caught in an additional round of proofreading (mouse over the words underlined in blue shows corrections). Keep up the good work! Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.

    9 points:

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    1. Restricting air travel is the only way to prevent air pollution. Do you agree?

      Some people believe that the only way to reduce air pollution is to limit the number of flights. I do not agree with this view. In my opinion, restricting air travel is unlikely to have any real impact on air quality. At the same time, it may adversely affect the economy of the nation.

      There is no denying the fact that aeroplanes cause air and noise pollution. They produce too much noise and emit harmful gases. While it is possible to control this pollution by reducing the number of flights, it will not fully solve the problem because the majority of pollutants in the air do not come from aircrafts. It is true that air travel has become more affordable and popular recently. However, aeroplanes still are not the primary mode of transport for the majority of people and as such they cannot be considered the number one cause of air pollution. In fact, cars and buses cause more pollution than flights because there are too many of them on the road.

      What’s more, restricting air travel can have disastrous consequences for the economy. The tourism industry will be the worst hit because limited availability of flights will discourage tourists from visiting foreign countries. Import and export of goods will also be affected. Since both of these factors will affect the financial growth of the country, I do not believe that governments will want to limit air travel.

      To conclude, restricting air travel is unlikely to improve air quality much because aeroplanes are not the biggest polluters on the planet. What’s more, any such move will have serious economic consequences.

    2. In some schools and universities, girls choose arts subjects (literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (physics). Why do you think this is so?
      Should this tendency be changed?

      Science subjects are for boys and arts subjects are for girls. Gender based stereotypes exist everywhere. When we hear the word doctor, the first image that comes to our mind is that of a man wearing a white coat. Women can also become doctors and engineers. There are numerous of them. Countless women have already proved that they can excel in science subjects. Still, many girls opt for arts subjects at university. There are many reasons behind this trend.

      One of the reasons that encourage many girls to choose arts is that they are not very keen on getting a job. They just want to earn a degree. As a result they decide to study literature or humanities. It is also easy to obtain admission to these courses because they are less competitive. By contrast, girls who really want to find employment after completing their education prefer to study science or maths. They become successful doctors, engineers and scientists.

      Generally speaking subjects like science and technology generate more jobs than arts. This is exactly the reason that prompts boys to choose these subjects. All of them want to get a job and hence they choose scientific and technical subjects that improve their employability.

      In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with girls choosing arts and boys choosing science. If a girl is not interested in working after university, she probably has no reason to obtain a degree in medicine or engineering. In my country, I know countless girls who prefer to stay at home looking after their children in spite of having a degree in computer science or physics. They actually deprived another student of an opportunity to become a scientist or a programmer.

      To conclude, if girls prefer arts subjects to science subjects, that is because of the existence of gender stereotypes and their lack of interest in finding employment. In my opinion, this trend is neither positive nor negative and as such it does not have to be changed.

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